Happy Freakin' Holidays Dammit!
From J.P. Gotrocks, CEO Big Box Mart:
It has come to our attention that certain groups wish there holiday specifically stated during this month. They have been quite acerbic, loud, and all around assholes. Fortunately the number of jackasses are small and most work for Faux News Network. So to accommodate them, and just shut them up we are implementing a new policy. All employees will be responsible for the proper greeting on the appropriate day. Please memorize this list so we can avoid any unpleasant confrontations during this month.
Month: (To be used on days when no specific holiday falls, or when requested by a customer)
- Bingo Month
- Write a Friend Month
Each Day:
1 World Aids Awareness Day
2 Eat a Red Apple Day
2 National Pie Day
3 National Roof over Your Head Day
3 National Fritters Day
4 Santas' List Day - we hope you are on the "Good" list
4 Wear Brown Shoes Day
5 Bathtub Party Day
6 St. Nicholas Day
6 Mitten Tree Day
6 Put on your own Shoes Day
7 Letter Writing Day
7 National Cotton Candy Day
8 National Brownie Day
9 National Pastry Day
10 Human Rights Day
10 International Children's Day - Second Sunday in December
11 National Noodle Ring Day
12 National Ding-a-Ling Day
13 Ice Cream Day
13 Violins Day
14 National Bouillabaisse Day
15 Bill of Rights Day
15 National Lemon Cupcake Day
16 National Chocolate covered Anything Day
17 National Maple Syrup Day
18 National Roast Suckling Pig Day
19 Look for an Evergreen Day
19 Go Carolling Day
19 Oatmeal Muffin Day
20 Games Day
21 Hamburger Day
21 Humbug Day
21 National Flashlight Day
21 Look on the Bright Side Day
22 Forefather's Day
22 National Date Nut Bread Day
23 Roots Day
24 National Egg Nog Day
25 National Pumpkin Pie Day for recipes see Pumpkin Nook 's Cookbook
26 Boxing Day
27 Make Cut Out Snowflakes Day
28 Card Playing Day
28 National Chocolate Day
29 Pepper Pot Day
30 Bicarbonate of Soda Day
31 Unlucky Day
Have a Safe and Healthy,
St. Nicholas Day, Mitten Tree Day, Put on your own Shoes Day
posted by Virgil Libertas at 3:26 PM
<< Home