LOL! WHOO HOO! (snif) LOL! ROFLMAO!!

From the TimesOnline:

Catholic Church no longer swears by truth of the Bible
By Ruth Gledhill, Religion Correspondent

The hierarchy of the Roman Catholic Church has published a teaching document instructing the faithful that some parts of the Bible are not actually true.

The Catholic bishops of England, Wales and Scotland are warning their five million worshippers, as well as any others drawn to the study of scripture, that they should not expect “total accuracy” from the Bible.

The document is timely, coming as it does amid the rise of the religious Right, in particular in the US.

Timely. Maybe a little late. However, this should send the fundies into an anti-Catholic tirade. Hell this Christian right "alliance" was based on supports made of straw to begin with.

Some Christians want a literal interpretation of the story of creation, as told in Genesis, taught alongside Darwin’s theory of evolution in schools, believing “intelligent design” to be an equally plausible theory of how the world began.

Yes like those progressive folks over at the Kansas Board of Education who fail to see the might and majesty of the Flying Spaghetti Monster yet espouses some old fart who likes to set bushes on fire. Well you can keep you pyromaniac child killer, I'll take 6 tons of pasta and fried meat! What's the matter with Kansas goes the question.... their f*&&^ng crazy goes the answer.

But the first 11 chapters of Genesis, in which two different and at times conflicting stories of creation are told, are among those that this country’s Catholic bishops insist cannot be “historical”. At most, they say, they may contain “historical traces.”

In other words Padre its all horse shit. The two nude idiots, the apple jive, angels banging human women, and the big boat are all Bullshit. No kidding.

Of the notorious anti-Jewish curse in Matthew 27:25, “His blood be on us and on our children”, a passage used to justify centuries of anti-Semitism, the bishops say these and other words must never be used again as a pretext to treat Jewish people with contempt. Describing this passage as an example of dramatic exaggeration, the bishops say they have had “tragic consequences” in encouraging hatred and persecution. “The attitudes and language of first-century quarrels between Jews and Jewish Christians should never again be emulated in relations between Jews and Christians.”

That should ruin Pat Buchanan's day.

Similarly, they refute the apocalyptic prophecies of Revelation, the last book of the Christian Bible, in which the writer describes the work of the risen Jesus, the death of the Beast and the wedding feast of Christ the Lamb.

Wasn't The Beast and the Wedding feast of Christ the Lamb part of the Dark Tower series?

and

Poor Kirk Cameron what will he do with those 20 tons of Left Behind DvD's should this idea catch on?