Alito The Reason For The Season!

It has come to my attention, through a faculty member at Kammana Wanna Lei U, that archaeologists have uncovered an ancient text prophetizing the coming of the Christmas Savior, Judge Sam Alito. Much like the Lost Books Of The Bible this text will come under great scholarly criticism, however using my limited knowledge of Ancient Bullcrapia I have assembled this translation.

A READING FROM THE BOOK OF GIBSON THE UNWANTED:

²¹And SCHLAFY shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name ALITO: for he shall save MERRY CHRISTMAS from HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

²²Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the LORD STRAUSS by THE PROPHET KRISTOL, saying,

²³Behold, a NEO-CON shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name ALITO, which being interpreted is, LEO STRAUSS is with us.

²⁴Then SHRUB being raised from sleep did as the PUNDIT of the NEO-CON had bidden him, and took unto him his wife:

²⁵And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name ALITO.

For more on this revolutionary text you may go to the New York Times Article from Dec. 6th 2005. Which will detail the works of the Blesses Order of The Loonies For Christ, Fidelis.org. If you get a chance you might want to head over to their website, at least to get a laugh or a copy of The Holy Alito's Senate questionnaire in PDF format. Over at Media Matters they have a clip of Saint O'Lielly the Loofa's pontifications about The Sacred Gavel's nomination. The good folks over at Media Transparency have a nice essay helping to debunk this War on Christmas nonsense