Reasons To Be Cheerful, Part 1
Okay, I know the attempted hijacking of American democracy is serious business.
But maybe it’s the scent of spring in the air. Or maybe it’s the scent of Republican flop sweat in the air. But I just can’t help thinking of all the things there are to laugh about:
1. Tony Snow’s Discomfiture. C’mon, you just know ol’ Tony thought this job was gonna be a cakewalk. Spend an hour a day standing in front of a bunch of stenographers and lapdogs, lie to them, insult them to their faces, and have them thank you for it? Must have sounded like a sweet gig. And Tony’s just that kind of snotty, supercilious asshole who’d really revel in the degradation of others.
Too bad it hasn’t worked out that way, huh, Tones?
Nope, poor ol’ Tones has looked downright uncomfortable these last few days. There are… people out there… asking actual questions… and expecting him to answer them! The horror!
Well, Tony, that’s what you get for being the last crewman to sign on for the Titanic.
2. Congressional Republicans Who Don’t Know What Year It Is. So far in this session of Congress, they’ve been gaveled down by Barney Frank, Barbara Boxer, and the refrain is always the same: You’re Not In Charge Anymore. Elections Have Consequences. Sit down and Shut Up, Motherfucker. (Okay, I made the last one up.) But watching Congressional Republicans flailing like beached whales and complaining about having their rights violated because they’re being asked to follow the rules and procedures of the House and Senate – well, maybe it doesn’t take much to crack me up, but I’m loving it.
3. Chris Matthews’ Homoerotic Excitement Over Schoolyard Thuggery. Doesn’t poor Chris have one friend who’ll pull him aside and tell him, Dude, you’re embarrassing not only yourself but a whole country? Matthews must be the only person left in America who thinks Bush is “tough” and “manly”. Or at least the last one un-self-aware enough to gush on and on about it on a national television show.
That’s just the beginning -- there’s o so much more….
But maybe it’s the scent of spring in the air. Or maybe it’s the scent of Republican flop sweat in the air. But I just can’t help thinking of all the things there are to laugh about:
1. Tony Snow’s Discomfiture. C’mon, you just know ol’ Tony thought this job was gonna be a cakewalk. Spend an hour a day standing in front of a bunch of stenographers and lapdogs, lie to them, insult them to their faces, and have them thank you for it? Must have sounded like a sweet gig. And Tony’s just that kind of snotty, supercilious asshole who’d really revel in the degradation of others.
Too bad it hasn’t worked out that way, huh, Tones?
Nope, poor ol’ Tones has looked downright uncomfortable these last few days. There are… people out there… asking actual questions… and expecting him to answer them! The horror!
Well, Tony, that’s what you get for being the last crewman to sign on for the Titanic.
2. Congressional Republicans Who Don’t Know What Year It Is. So far in this session of Congress, they’ve been gaveled down by Barney Frank, Barbara Boxer, and the refrain is always the same: You’re Not In Charge Anymore. Elections Have Consequences. Sit down and Shut Up, Motherfucker. (Okay, I made the last one up.) But watching Congressional Republicans flailing like beached whales and complaining about having their rights violated because they’re being asked to follow the rules and procedures of the House and Senate – well, maybe it doesn’t take much to crack me up, but I’m loving it.
3. Chris Matthews’ Homoerotic Excitement Over Schoolyard Thuggery. Doesn’t poor Chris have one friend who’ll pull him aside and tell him, Dude, you’re embarrassing not only yourself but a whole country? Matthews must be the only person left in America who thinks Bush is “tough” and “manly”. Or at least the last one un-self-aware enough to gush on and on about it on a national television show.
That’s just the beginning -- there’s o so much more….
posted by Gummo at 7:13 PM
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