Saturday, December 09, 2006

Actor 212 Speaketh Truth!

Actor 212 of Simply Left Behind pretty much nails nails every native New Yorker's feelings this time a year:
(NOTE TO TOURISTS: Please, if you need to consult a map on Broadway and 45th Street, step to the curb or the wall of the building! You'll do us all a favor.)
Jesbus on a one horse open sleigh! YES! YOU TESTIFY! Why do you people insist on stopping dead in the middle of the freaking street only to consult some tourist map or even worse, lift your head towards the sky in that ridiculous "WOW! That's tall! look.

When crossing the street at a "Don't Walk" sign, please DO NOT block the cut in the curb. We are trying to cross here! Those buttons at those crossing signs, stop pressing them please. They don't work, never have. My theory is they were installed simply to give tourists something to do while they wait for the light to change.

If you are on one of those gods foirsaken busses let me clue you in. WE ARE NOT GUPPIES or MAKO SHARKS! Stop looking at us! Christ I go out to have a smoke and I feel like an attraction in a people aquarium!

Oh and don't let me forget, the last thing New Yorker's want to hear on their morning, mid-day, or nightly commute, is your 15-18 year old testifying about the love of Jesus. Why do you do this to your children? Daniel only had to get out of a lion's den. You throw you children on a "Q "train with us? Savages!

So when in New York remember have a nice time, obey our laws.... and then.. go the HELL HOME! We got other things to do than entertain your ass.

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