What Jon Stewart Said

A primer for the uninitiated, the ill-informed, or those with their heads so far up their ass they can measure their heart rate with their tongue.

A LHC Exclusive!!!!!

Many who saw this live on CSPAN or saw it later on Olbermann felt the same disquieting feeling in their stomachs. There lurking in the woods, for no apparent reason, was Cheney. Was he working the remote? Practicing to be an extra in the Sopranos, for the stalker sub-plot? Did he have a senior moment and just randomly walk out onto the lawn? Did he remember to wear pants?

No friends their was a darker more sinister motive at hand. We here at Left Handed Compliment are now able to reveal that dark purpose.

When we zoomed in on the picture and hovered over where Cheney was hiding, amongst the shrubbery, here is what we found!

Disturbing? Yes. Somehow we should have known all along.

The Wacky World of Dick!

Sometimes all you need is a headline:

Cheney Criticizes China's Arms Buildup
By ROHAN SULLIVAN 02.23.07, 3:32 AM ET

"Other actions by the Chinese government send a different message," Cheney told the Australian-American Leadership Dialogue, a private organization that promotes ties between the two countries.

"Last month's anti-satellite test, China's continued fast-paced military buildup are less constructive and are not consistent with China's stated goal of a peaceful rise," he said.

Are we still, (chuckle) going ahead with "Star Wars", Dick? Yep, big surprise that a country would be testing an anti-satellite systems, especially with cool-headed, peace loving, teddy bears like you roaming the political landscape. However, lets be honest, the SDI systems have been a boondoggle and red herring since St. Raygun was steering blindly at the helm. China is much more afraid of the spy-sats that actually work, but it does send an effective message to the retro-80's members of the Republican party who think SDI will actually work.

With the anachronistic Cold War policies this administration espouses, y'know like overtly overthrowing regimes for financial concerns, it is not surprising that other countries are preparing for the worst. Take for example this statement out of the "How to Make Your Own Vietnam Handbook". As you read this replace "jihadist(s)/ Taliban" with the word Communist and of course Iraq/Afghanistan/ Middle East with the Far Eastern or Central American country of your choice:

"Having tasted victory in Iraq, jihadists would look for new missions," joining the Taliban fighting in Afghanistan and spreading "sorrow and discord" across the Middle East and further afield, he said.

"Such chaos and mounting danger does not have to occur. It is, however, the enemy's objective," Cheney said. "For the sake of our own long-term security, we have a duty to stand in their way."

I lived through the late seventies and ALL of the 80's once. I do not need to live through it again. Besides I got rid of "Member's Only" jackets and bottle of Drakkar years ago.

Yes, My Master.

Firedoglake correctly points out:

"This might be amusing if I didn't know this was the White House Press Secretary talking about the mess that is Iraq and President"

Now what could Tony Snow have said that could get this reaction from that fine blog's writer and apparently Froomkin. This from the daily White House Press Gaggle. The issue at hand was the Presidents clear and definite indication that he had no clear, definite, nor immediate plans on making a decision at this juncture on Iraq, all things being considered, at this critical time.......:

" Q Did the military leaders encourage him to just take a little bit more time?

" MR. SNOW: No, no, no. The President is the Commander-in-Chief; he issues orders. He decided, frankly, that it's not ready yet. . . .

" Q So some might infer that the delay means he doesn't know what to do.

" MR. SNOW: No, well, that would be the wrong inference to draw. . . .

" Q So just to get this clear, the reason for the delay is, number one, the complexity of the Iraq issue, and not because the President learned something in the last week that changed his mind?

" MR. SNOW: That is correct. . . .

Very cautious, careful, and is almost true, a rare event so "rock da houze" Tony. Well it is true that the President hadn't " the President learned something in the last week that changed his mind". He learned it TWO WEEKS AGO. What happened to keep the in-decider from deciding:

December 13, 2006
Saudis Say They Might Back Sunnis if U.S. Leaves Iraq
By HELENE COOPER

WASHINGTON, Dec. 12 — Saudi Arabia has told the Bush administration that it might provide financial backing to Iraqi Sunnis in any war against Iraq’s Shiites if the United States pulls its troops out of Iraq, according to American and Arab diplomats.

King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia conveyed that message to Vice President Dick Cheney two weeks ago during Mr. Cheney’s whirlwind visit to Riyadh, the officials said. During the visit, King Abdullah also expressed strong opposition to diplomatic talks between the United States and Iran, and pushed for Washington to encourage the resumption of peace talks between Israel and the Palestinians, senior Bush administration officials said.

So now we have at least a partial answer as to why the Saudi ambassador resigned abruptly. We now know why the Saudi's have been dumping dollars for Euro's. Next step in slapping Shrub into line will be to start pumping oil like a teenager with hyper-acne. Lower the price, screw Big Oil where it hurt$, and watch Shrub and Cheney fall back in line with its master's (Saudi) voice.

We have acquired a photo, secretly taken of Cheney as he entered the King's presence: